Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize