He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
