You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
no you cant smoke seaweed
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
