shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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