i just wanna soil my oats bro
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
