So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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