I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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