i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
