DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
