apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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