I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
