So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Pants are for mortals
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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