I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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