Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
