that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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