Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
