You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
