Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
