happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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