Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
