ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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