Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
