Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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