went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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