I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize