I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
