Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love having hate sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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