Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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