You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
