Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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