glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
