wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
