I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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