have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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