so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
