I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
