new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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