we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
