just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize