I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
