You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor