He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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