i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
