let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
