so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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