I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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