i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize