1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
