I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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