Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
