I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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