O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
