I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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