Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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