i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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