We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
