i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
