Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
