You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
