Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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