Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
