We're facebook friends in real life
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Actions speak louder than pants.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
