I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
