There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
