toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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