it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he was CRYING into my vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Houston, we have a squirter
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Randomize
