im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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